Breaking apart
by Sabie
Summary: Part5: Sabie gets to know some horrible things about herself... the results are unpredictable...


1 BREAKING APART  
  
(August 2028,  
  
Sabie – 10 years)  
  
Prologue  
  
It was the first time Sabie saw him. Tall and slender, he had rich dark hair and really attractive face, though a bit pale comparing with usual Californian tan. He also had mild voice that she appreciated as it didn't sear her keen ears like some others did.  
  
What she didn't like about him was his scent and his lips. They had their corners bending down on the very end, and that gave him sad and desperate expression. The scent was earthy and had some overtones that reminded her of an old grave. She was deeply disappointed her mom hadn't found this aspect out yet.  
  
Still she saw clearly, both her mom and him were happy together. It was everything in ma, including her shining eyes, the rich scent of happiness that was washing off her, and her heartbeat that started racing each time he came closer. Sabie was truly happy for them.  
  
"Here's Mr. Steven Fillow" she said, letting him hug her from behind. "You can call me Steve, girl." He said with a smile and reached out his hand as if to brush over Sabie's head, then uncertainly put it back around ma's waist. "She's Sabie, my kid," Rebecca introduced. He nodded with the same smile on his lips.  
  
Sabie smiled back, then rubbed her nose with her hand, unwillingly making a performance of showing first her teeth then claws. His smile got a bit unnatural, but still claimed his face. The thing was in his scent and movement, as his head ducked back ever so slightly, Sabie doubted he had even noticed it himself.  
  
It was clear from now on. It was a triangle her family turned into. Rebecca loved him and he loved her back. Ma loved her and she loved her back. She has neutral to Steve. He hated her to the depth of his heart.  
  
1.1  
  
1.2 Part1  
  
"It ain't all that bad" Syntia reassured her. "My mom got divorced and I lived with her till she discovered my… changes." She still couldn't call it mutation. "Two years ago, as she found it out, remember she kicked me away? And where did I go? To my sweet daddy, and it's there where I'm living now, see? So I don't think it's all that bad, Sabie, maybe he'll get used to you or something."  
  
Sabie shrugged. "Maybe. And maybe not. Maybe there will be like in that Cinderella tale."  
  
Syntia chuckled. "He won't kick you out, your ma won't allow him. Remember you told me about that case you had as month old? And you truly think she'll just kick you away after that?…"  
  
"No" Sabie resumed after some moments of thinking. "Still… I didn't like his scent."  
  
Syntia leaned closer and smiled. "Give him a chance, girl." She bent her legs and embraced them with her hands, metal pieces making slight bang sound as they met each other.  
  
She now had over forty percents of her body covered with metal, including small and pinky fingers on her right hand and a thick line that ran vertically across her left eye covering a quarter of her face. She remembered her fighting for her face, moistening the nearly dead skin with crème hoping it won't split and reveal the metal underneath. She even prayed, hoping the God will leave her face to her, but He didn't. Soon in spite of her pleads the skin dried into the paper and parted off her face. It was the day when her mother kicked her out.  
  
The mutation was progressing, and secretly in her mind Syntia was afraid she'll get completely covered in metal in a year or two. She scratched her arm absentmindedly and revealed another piece of metal under the dried skin.  
  
Sabie considered for a moment. Could she mistake the scent and his move? Was it all that bad actually or was it her who thought about this that way? She shook her head and nodded. "He'll get his chance."  
  
###  
  
They were drinking tea with cakes and watching "Face Off". Rebecca half- laid peacefully on Steve's lap, running her fingers over his arm back and forth. "Great movie" she muttered and leaned closer to him with her head. He tangled his fingers into her hair and kissed her forehead. "Yeah" he replied softly. "Do you think the Cage get his face back?" "Sure. It's the way all American movies end. Happy end for happy people." She chuckled. "You aren't happy?" She shook her head. "Why wouldn't I be? I have you, that means I have no reason to be unhappy." She smiled and playfully pinched his nose. He let out a short chuckle.  
  
"Steve?" "Yeah?" "When will we marry?" He thought for a moment. "We'll think about it. I'm not sure it's something we shall decide right now and then. We have time, plenty of it." Rebecca frowned, feeling bad tunes in his voice. "Something's wrong?" "No, actually." He shook his head as if clearing his head from some thoughts. She pulled herself up from his lap and sat towards him on the sofa. "Tell me, Steve. You know there's nothing to hide here. We can't live happily while we have something unsaid between us." He sat motionless. She went on. "Try to understand, it's important for both of us to feel free. It all happened so fast we do not know each other as well as it shall be, and it sure thing brings up various problems." She looked at him. "But the only way to solve them is to bring them to the surface. No secrets. Just truth." She leaned to him, embracing him with her arms.  
  
Steve chewed his lower lip for a moment, then challenged. "It's about your daughter." Rebecca's face was serious as she backed off him to the length of her stretched arms. "What about her?" he heard aggressive tunes in her voice and tried to make his own voice sound even softer than usually. "She… she's nice and clever, I'm sure… " Rebecca waited feeling her heart racing. "But I'm… sure I like her, I have nothing against her, she's a good kid, but… " his head dropped "I can't admit her."  
  
Rebecca swallowed. "Maybe you'll get used to her?…" she asked quietly. He shrugged. "I truly hope I will, as she's good. I just… you know, I even like her eyes, their look fine in spite of them lacking pupils… but her claws… hmm… and fangs…" he shook his head "I can't admit them, I can't admit I'll have a foster daughter who'll be fanged and clawed like… like…" he had only words "animal" and "creature" rolling on his tongue, so he let his voice trail off. Unfortunately, it sounded even worse that way.  
  
"But you'll try?" she demanded, then softened her voice. "She's good, she's really clever and she'd funny and she likes to laugh, she likes dancing and singing and she has a dream to become a music-star… you'll get used to her, even more, you'll like her, I'm sure you will!" she clenched his shoulders. "Promise me you'll try your best." Steve looked into the depth of her eyes, searching for something, then closed his eyes and nodded. "I will."  
  
###  
  
Next day Steven and Sabie went for a walk. It was Saturday, and she usually went to Syntia to play Nintendo, but she was curious about the man her mom was with. She didn't know why did he decide to go with her, but she felt like she knew. She felt it was more than some everyday walk.  
  
They went through the park, and his strict look was so intense Sabie didn't dare to run around and was walking along with him. However it lasted only several minutes till she saw a small cat on the tree. In a moment she was near it, calling the kitten and stretching her hands to it. "Kss-kss-kss…" she called, and the cat stared at her with hesitation, then laid his head onto his paws and stared down at the silly girl.  
  
Realizing she wasn't gonna get the cat, Sabie went across the field gathering flowers on her way and laughing.  
  
Steve watched the girl and put all his will to see her good sides. Rebecca was right, Sabie was funny and hyperactive kid who couldn't stay in place for longer than five minutes. She was creative and full of life, and as he heard her without seeing her, he was sure she was the best kid in the world… until he looked at her. At the sight of her claws he felt nausea crawling up his throat, and there was nothing he could do about it. He tried to avoid seeing her fangs, realizing he'd get sick at once as he sees them. Sabie's laughing didn't help him much in that.  
  
"You like ice-cream?" he asked, and Sabie nodded, licking the cherry blob. "I like cherry one, it's great! I also like choko one, but it stinks."  
  
"Stinks?…" "Ow, yeah! You know, the scent of choko laces the air inside the pack, and there's also the scent of the paper pack itself there, and as you open the pack… eeeek, awful!" she made another lick and smiled.  
  
Steven turned away a bit and took some deep breaths to cope with nausea crawling up his throat. The girl was feeling the scent of the paper pack… He swallowed, and realized it got all clear already. He and Sabie won't get along. Ever.  
  
1.2.1 Part2  
  
"So, how was it?" Rebecca questioned. Steve cleared his throat. "Hmm… you know, she's a nice kid, clever, creative…" he started. Her face lit up. "I mean… no, I have nothing against her, and…" "So, you liked her?" "Ahm, yeah, sure, but…" he paused uncertainly. "Her claws… they look… hmm… weird. I'm not sure I'll ever…" "Maybe you'll get used to them?" Rebecca smiled pleadingly, and he exploded.  
  
"No dammit, I'll never ever get used to that all! she's a freak and the freak she will be! she's got fangs in that pretty mouth of hers! I thought I'd puke just from the barely sight of them! You saw her fucking claws?! Do you know what can she do with them, huh?! Sure you know, you saw that poor man and his cheek!"  
  
His voice was cut off by Rebecca's sharp stare. Steven bit his tongue and cursed it. He had no right to talk about her daughter like this, no matter who is she or what is she. Even more, he had no right to remind her of the court case.  
  
"Sorry." He muttered. "I'm sorry I said all that." "At least I heard the truth." Rebecca spat, but dropped her eyes as she saw the pitiful look on his face. He let his hands lay onto her shoulders. "I'm sorry fer that." He paused. "But you shall understand. I love you with all my heart. But there're things I can't go along with." He dropped his head. "Sabie is one of such things."  
  
Tunes of despair sparkled in his voice as he talked. "I tried, Bec', I tried my very best…" he rose his ever so exhausted eyes "But I can't. I just can't. you shall choose, Bec', her or me."  
  
For a minute silence fell in the room, then she spoke quietly. "I'll.. I'll think about it."  
  
###  
  
"I'm home, mommy!" Sabie announced as she ran up the stairs. "Hi, dear." Rebecca greeted her with a smile, question in her eyes. To choose. Kid or lover? Mutant or human? She signed.  
  
Sabie was bubbling something about the school activities, and she was thinking. Choosing. Abruptly she felt disgust of herself. She was now smiling to the kid she was probably gonna kick away soon. She swallowed nervously, thanks God Sabie didn't notice it.  
  
Still she thought. What was Sabie for her? her kid? She wasn't even hers, only on the paper, not by the right of birth. The daughter of the bloody killer and insane mother-widow. Mutant with deadly claws, the claws that scarred human's face and life as she was less than a year.  
  
Steve? Her love. The first real love in her life. Wealthy man with good future. Even… she signed at the thought, but couldn't push it away before letting it slid over her mind. He could give her kids. Real kids, her own ones, normal humans without any claws.  
  
"Are you okay, ma?" Sabie questioned, and Rebecca yanked her own head up forcing a smile on the way. "Yeah, its… its just headache." Sabie got up from the chair and embraced her. "Poor-poor mommy" she soothed, and Rebecca smiled through burning tears.  
  
###  
  
It was evening and Sabie was going to sleep laying already in her bed when mommy came in. "Good night mommy" she purred, but it looked like mother wasn't gonna leave soon.  
  
"I have a small talk to you, kid" she said, and Sabie felt tension in her voice. She sat on the bed watching mom sitting down beside her.  
  
"Remember Mrs. Sandra?" she questioned. Sabie nodded enthusiastically. She remembered the lady who brought her sweets every time she came to them, and who always told her stories and played scrabble with her.  
  
"I'd like… I'd like you to go to her for some time, okay?" Sabie nodded, then asked. "It's 'cause of your friend. Mr. Steven?" Rebecca gagged. "No… I mean… why do you think so?"  
  
Sabie shrugged. "Isn't it clear? He doesn't like me, I see it." "No! he likes you, I know!"  
  
Sabie looked at her with knowing smile only teenagers have. "There's nothing to be shy about, ma" she said flatly. "No one likes mutants, why shall he like?"  
  
"No, Sabie don't even tell me that! You ain't a mutant, you're just homo superior!" she exclaimed, and Sabie ducked back at the loud sound. "What's the difference, ma?" she shrugged. No answer followed.  
  
"So… back to business. Will you go to Sandra?" Sabie nodded. "Sure I will, ma."  
  
"Good" she answered and got up. "Good night, Sabie"  
  
"Good night, ma."  
  
###  
  
an hour later  
  
Rebecca stormed down the stairs and fell into embrace of shocked Steven. "What happened, love?" The sob came as an answer, then she pulled away from him and whispered. "She knows, Steve, she knows what we're doing."  
  
"And what are we doing?" he questioned in surprise. "Kicking her out." She whispered back in terror. "She feels it, she knows… she knows I'm betraying her." Steven hugged her closer. "We ain't."  
  
"How come we ain't, Steve?! We're… God, we're kicking her out like some dog! We can't… Steve, I can't…"  
  
He stepped away slightly and said coldly. "Don't do it then. It was your choice." Rebecca took a deep breath. "Sorry. I know I chose you, not her. I remember. I just wanted… hmm… to make her comfy when… when she leaves us."  
  
"I know. And I'm sure she'll be okay by Sandra." He pulled her closer and sat her down on the couch. "Look, she got more attention than any orphan kid ever gets. What you did for her… it's above anything she could get. That case… when you got to know her real parents. You had already known her mother went insane the moment she saw the kid, still you took her home. You cared about her, even saved her from the boarding school of FOH. Even as you got to know how dangerous she was, that she hurt an adult man for life, you didn't get rid of her. Even after they told you about her father- mutant. Who do you think would have kept at home the girl, whose father has thousands of lives on his consciousness, whose hands are crimson from blood? But you did. You gave her the best childhood she could ever get, and believe me, there's nothing more you owe her." he leaned closer. "You gave her ten years of your life. Isn't it time to live for yourself, love?"  
  
Rebecca thought for a moment, then signed and pulled Steve in a tight embrace. "I love you, sweetheart." She whispered.  
  
On the second floor in her bedroom Sabie sank on the floor along the door as her knees buckled, stiffed sobs erupting out of her throat. "No…" she whispered. "No, please, no…" It was more than she could handle. Orphan kid. Her mom wasn't her mom, her real mom was psycho. ~She went insane as she saw me… god were I all that hideous?!…~ suddenly it came to her her ma… Mrs. Rebecca saw her like that too. She swallowed.  
  
And her dad – he appeared to be nothing like pilot dead in the air crash. Mutant. Killer. Bloody murderer. And she was like him. She was in the court. She hurt the man, maybe even killed him, maybe even…  
  
Suddenly she remembered, realized what she could have done. Where that red haze could have been coming from. She was insane too, she just didn't know that yet. That must be how people go mad… people?… she wasn't even human…  
  
She balled on the floor, sobbing and smearing tears over her face. She lost everything. Just one moment – and it was all gone.  
  
She didn't remember how long was she laying there, when she suddenly snapped her head up in some deafing self-centered anger. "Get your fucking ass up and deal with it!" she growled lowly. Pulling up her small body, weak from long cry, she looked around.  
  
She couldn't stay. She couldn't live with Mrs. Sandra, for that she was sure. That meant she should… it came fast and clear. She should leave. Once and for ever. With another stiffed sob she paced to the wardrobe and pulled her clothes out. Her private things followed.  
  
In half an hour she had everything packed. Two shirts. Jacket. Some underwear. The diary and two pens. Stuffed cat – her loveliest toy. Some money she got out of her money-pig. She couldn't think of something else.  
  
The food would have been good, but she couldn't take it from home – to much of a risk to go to the kitchen. Better to buy it on the way.  
  
She checked her loveliest jewelry – silver chain with small silver bullet on it – then her watch. Everything on. Bag behind her back. Ready. She paced to the door… and stopped. She forgot.  
  
Yanking a paper out of her notebook, she wrote, trying her best to write neatly.  
  
Sorry, Mrs. Rebecca, but I can stay no more. Thank you for everything you have done. I wish you to be happy with Mr. Steven, he is a good man. Don't worry, I will be okay.  
  
1.2.1.1 Sabie  
  
Ps: Give the cat to Syntia and tell her I will be okay.  
  
She opened the bag and took the stuffed cat out. It was old already, his tale caring the teeth marks. Mom… Mrs. Rebecca said she loved this toy from the very beginning, and it was her who bit cat's tale when her teeth were coming out. Absentminded stroked Sabie cat's blue fur, pulling it by the ears by habit, then resolutely put it onto the note and went to the door… and stopped.  
  
She couldn't go through the door, it'd wake everyone up, no matter how quiet she'd be. Instead, she opened the window and pulled her feet outside. Then she stopped and looked back at her room, the room she spent her childhood it. Ten years.  
  
Her eyes wandered over the furniture. Table she was making lessons at. Book she were reading. Toys she was playing with. There was a small chair she liked to put her bag on, and there was dress Christi had presented her on Christmas, soon after they made friends with Syntia, carelessly laying on the bed…  
  
She felt tears making their way to her eyes and with sharp motion turned her head away from the room to the yard. To the road. To her future. Swiftly, she got a hold of the window frame and let her legs hang down. Then she unclasped her hands and fell on the ground. In spite of her try to turn the fall into rolling as she reached the ground, she heard a crack and felt burning flash in her left knee.  
  
She fell on the ground and clenched her teeth not to yell. The burning increased – healing process went on. In about ten seconds in was over.  
  
She took a deep breath, got up and shook the dirt off her jeans. She had a long way ahead.  
  
###  
  
After the nervous ride by bus she finally reached the airport. With the main crowd she went to the main building, but then decided to sneak to the building nearby.  
  
She had never ever been to airports before, so she had no idea where the luggage is usually kept. Fortunately, the building was the right one, she realized it as she saw great amount of boxes around. quietly she opened one, then another, choosing those that were big enough for her to get in.  
  
Finally she opened (with her claws) a big container and glanced inside. The smile crept onto her lips. Films. The whole container of films. They won't even get it through the x-rays.  
  
Quickly, she got inside and closed it.  
  
For some time nothing happened, and she even started thinking she chose the wrong building, and the containers are gonna stay here for some days, but then it was something cracking around, some voices talking, and the container was raised up and moved somewhere. Every moment she was waiting for someone to open it and to see her, but no one did.  
  
Soon by the sounds around she realized she was in the plane. Some more minutes – and they got into the air. She eased down against the cool wall of the container and let the tears stream free down her face. It was all over.  
  
Their eyes possess my lashes, their breath warms my hands,  
  
My life is filled with common faces, and with them it goes to the end.  
  
I talk with their words, my heart beats in their chests,  
  
And if someone beats me with boots, bones crack in their chests.  
  
I try to double happiness and joy, I try to hide the searing pain.  
  
If something happens with my girls and boys, my tears fall like golden rain.  
  
We've already forgiven each other for every word, told or unspoken,  
  
For me it's already like being punished when the warmth of the talk is broken.  
  
I have their strength in my veins, it hits my foes with deadly fists,  
  
If some one trampled me into sins, they'll get the enemies I've missed.  
  
No one owes something to others, it's just that we need each other badly  
  
It's just that we're bent love, we'll die for each other, and we won't care.  
  
Everyone who're close to me  
  
Lead me by the way I can't see.  
  
("We", Dolphin, translated from Russian by Sabie) 


End file.
